Directions: Each player pulls a stack of cards from a deck. Player 1 begins telling a story. The number on the card before you is the amount of words you can use. If one pulls and king, queen, etc, then say as many words as you like. Once finished, put the card aside. The next player continues the story, following the same rules. (Players: SC, HC, BS, BL, MB)
THE RABBIT
Once upon a time there was a rabbit who liked to eat thistle and berries in the spring while holding acorns on his hand. He was a violent soul, capable of wanton destruction. Rabbit was really mad one day, and so he ate a purple flower and became a giant beast who roamed both land and sea. When he roamed the sea, he befriended the locals—the local seamen. These seamen were very enthusiastic to make new friends. Yet the seamen were overzealous, and let their virility get away from them. That’s ok! Because Rabbit had them on speed dial. And whenever the seamen are unhappy, rabbit knows where to call them. They play code games. Rabbit is epileptic, and yet he doesn’t even know how to properly wear epaulettes, even though he has asked the doctor about it so many times before. The doctor just keeps reminding Rabbit to eat healthy, because that’s how Rabbit will cure the cancerous mass eating away at his ability to love anyone. So the seamen asked Rabbit whether Octopus really had any stripes. Or was it all a dream? No! It wasn’t all a dream. So the seamen wondered if this all this was really just an allegory for masked fragility. And the rabbit wondered, too.
FINIGAN’S SHIT
“I can’t!”, said the two children playing in the park that one day. Their mother always yelled at them for staying out too long, and for hanging out with Peter Finigan, because he was so mean. So mean, in fact, that once he even stole their mother’s favorite vase, and then used it to create meth. “Yikes! What a world”, said that weird neighbor kid who had hatched a devious plan to kill Finigan’s ego. And they set out with him, concocting their devious plan. The plan consisted of scaring Finigan with a jumping cat. Wow! And it worked. When Cat jumped on Finigan’s face, Finigan shat and peed out his lunch into his armpits. But he was not even embarrassed. No, what really killed his ego was that everyone had laughed. He felt quite vulnerable. So he learned to shit from his ear instead of into his diaper, like his old uncle Claude. Now that he’d found this unique talent, he suddenly realized that he didn’t have to go to school anymore, or to do anything ever again. He could just lay on the ground in the park, and become a log. Having overcome his ego, he rejoiced. He could now live happily. And so, back to the kids. They had caught a centipede rolling along through a mound of offal and feces and sewage, which had gathered in the ditch at the park. Most of the shit had actually come from Finigan, who was now living peacefully in a world of “The End”.
