The game began with a variation on our previous card game, each player pulling cards and then synthesizing them into a monk’s aphorism. Once we had created these, we decided to try and glean qualities and philosophy from the sayings, and then went down the rabbit hole of the feces museum, fleshing out the idea of the exhibit. Players: HC, SC, K

sayings of a monk — erik, the stooled pigeon

  • “adolescence is merely a teacup.”
  • “seahorses are aces.”
  • “all life is an exhibit in a cafeteria.”
  • “a reporter is like a running antelope.”
  • “seven rock cairns are the best strip clubs.”
  • “if you deserve info, carry a curved dagger.”

qualities:

  • pansexual and sensual: enjoys food and delicate and fragile things, own body included. a modern dandy and decadent.
  • practical
  • suspicious chap: carries curved dagger to interrogate; is a force; “nothing is curved, everything is tangential”
  • jaded: life is a poor art exhibit; youth isn’t worth it
  • dresses messy: looks like taoist hermit; body so beautiful that only rags justifies it; only faded flames are the true frames for shittiness. 
  • entrepreneur: invented the world’s first feces museum

feces museum (traveling exhibits):

  • names by country: 
    • Dude Squirts Lava [american]
    • Plaza de Poot [french]
    • Emporium Furiousorium [roman]
    • Castle d’Ganache [welsh]
  • exhibit #1: the cataleptic garage sale
    • dirty tarps and doo-dads covered in feces. but sprinkled w/ strawberries and tulips and petals and jewelry.
  • exhibit #2: the fantasia of ineptune
    • filled w/ rabbit pellets rolled in red glass beads. they fall out the fountain’s head, making music. can pick up and eat. surprisingly tastes like clover
  • exhibit #3: fartasia
    • still-life of the artist ADK. plays bagpipes of fart sounds
  • exhibit #4: the sausage factory
    • full-sized warehouse space housed w/in the museum’s atrium. it is an old sausage factory. shit comes in; comes out transformed into gold.
  • exhibit #5: voyeurs de derrière
    • glass hallway lined w/ toilets behind the glass. the toilets are transparent, made of glass. interactive exhibit whereby guests can step behind the glass and poop. can only poop, no piss. picture taken as keepsake.
  • atrium: the rotunda
    • turd buttflies fly around. they are literally butthurt, their hemorrhoids trailing behind in pink and blue lights. they smell like rotting oranges.
  • exit: enter the voided
    • enter into a rectum. the walls are lined like intestines; it is in fact a labyrinth. the minotaur “Bull Shit” chases you throughout, trying to scare guests into shitting their pants. it chases them through all the places they are afraid to shit themselves: showers, pools, children’s underwear, the gynecologist, in the bedroom, on the subway, in traffic, at own birthday party, on stage at an improv show. if guests shit themselves, they are forcefully tattooed mazes upon their colon. the only escape is by slide.